Notes From the Whirlpool

Hey there! Sit down, have a drink. We should get acquainted…
Me? I’m JAMES GATES. What’s that? Well, that’s a tricky question…You might call me a Wichita…what? Character? Fixture? Gargoyle? I don’t know for sure… I’ve lived in the Wichita area almost 79% of my life. Most of the time I haunt Delano and the Old Town district like they were my own personal Whitechapel—you may only catch glimpses of me, floating in the background at a bar, a show or an art opening, but there are traces of me everywhere. (Wow, that didn’t sound creepy at all, did it?) I’ve been around long enough to have met some people… And let’s face it, I’m recognizable. I’m six and a half feet tall, rail-thin with blond hair, goatee and yellow-tinted glasses—I look like the three-way love child of Andy Dick, Shaggy, and Lurch from The Addams Family.
If there’s one thing I’ve been known for over the years, it’s random, bizarre, goofy shit. Tales are still told of the time I staged a re-enactment of the Oswald assassination in front of the Bohemian Bean Co., or when I held an impromptu white-slavery raffle to pay my rent… After awhile, it just seemed a natural to go semi-pro, which I did in 2006 with the sketch comedy group PANIC BUTTONS. I’ve been performing on stages and microphones throughout the Wichita area ever since, pursuing the goal of building a live, local comedy scene. In March 2007 I started doing THE JAMES GATES SHOW, a live comedy experience based around A) the late-night talk show format, and B) a whole bunch of me. And the rest is, well, the stuff of much confusion…
Anyway, this is my log. I get to write about anything I want, anytime. I like that. Hope you do too.

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Wed May 13

05/13/09 - Random and Recent 5

Random and Recent 5

I’M READY — RANDOM LIST #3822 — MAY-JUNE CALENDAR — RANDOM LIST #3823 — NEW MP3S (FINALLY!) — QUOTE OF THE WEEK

I’m Ready…

Had an interesting revelation the other day…I think I’m ready for an S & M relationship. Surprised me as much as the next guy (who probably isn’t surprised and doesn’t give a rat fudge anyway)—never struck me as my cup of tea. But what can I say? These days I just really want a lady to discipline me until I clean my kitchen. After that, you know, whatever… I mean, hopefully we’re fucking too, but if the kitchen gets cleaned, then mission accomplished…

Any takers? ‘Cause let me tell you, I’ve been a bad, bad boy…

Random List #3822

NAMES FOR AN ALASKA-BASED ”GENTLEMEN’S CLUB”

· Shiver Me Titties

· Snow Cones

· Eski-Ho’s

· Areola Borealis

· Northern Tights

· Blubbers (my personal favorite—just the name, not to actually go to…)

May-June Calendar

Yeah, we’re almost halfway into May, but the s#!t keeps poppin’…

· Wed, May 20^th (NEXT WEEK!) @ the Donut Hole, 1720 E. Douglas, 8-10pm

The JAMES GATES SHOW #311

“The Film Noir Show” featuring HARRY LIME and musical guest LOIS LANE

· Tues, May 26^th @ Kelly’s Irish Pub, 917 E. Douglas, 9-11pm

The TUESDAY NIGHT COMEDY REVUE

HOST: Eric Sharpe. FEATURED ACTS: Say What?, Romie Lee, Dustin Morby. JG SHOW #312

· Sat, May 30^th @ Blue Lounge, 608 E. Douglas, 10:30pm-?

Opening for BACK PORCH BUDDHA

I had these guys on my Riverside Perk show back in Feb, and we hit it off like kittens and Christians. We’ve been doing the occasional gig together ever since… frankly, I’m just impressed that local musicians like BPB and Scott Allan Knost are starting to really get down with the comedy scene—just seems a natural…

· Fri, June 5^th@ Kelly’s Irish Pub, 917 E. Douglas, 6-9pm (part of FIRST FRIDAY!)

The TUESDAY NIGHT COMEDY REVUE Season 1 Finale / Cliffhanger (?)

The last REVUE before our summer hiatus, with games, music, surprises, and guest appearances by many previous REVUE performers… We’re also joyful and engorged to be the first non-music act invited to join the FIRST FRIDAY event! Come out and help us celebrate a magical first season!

So get off it, take it out, and bring it here, ‘cause we’re gonna knock you right on it!

(And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, get out to a show now, ‘cause you need what we’re doing the most of all…)

Random List #3823

GAMES THAT SHOULD NOT BE PLAYED AT ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES

· Duck Duck Goose

· Red Rover

· Any “Red-ball”-based activity, such as Dodgeball or Kickball

· Tetherball

· Keep Away (just a horrible idea, really)

· All forms of wrestling, including arm, thumb, Greco-Roman, Backyard and Indian

· Laser Tag

· Spelling Bees

· “Steady-hand” games like Operation! or Jenga

· Russian Roulette

· Most carnival games, including the Ring Toss, Milk Bottles, and the “Strength-Bell-Hammer Thing”

· Log Rolling (though most other lumberjack sports would be okay)

· Food-Eating Contests (encourages sublimation of anger, which just fills up the eating-disorder support group meeting next door…)

New MP3s (Finally!)

The thing about writing, producing, promoting, and performing live shows—doesn’t leave a lot of time to sort out recording (especially when you don’t even have recording equipment to speak of; any videographers out there with some spare time?). Usually these days, shows get at least partially documented, either photos, or the occasional digital audio. And in the latter department, I have been blessed… I was recently given pre-edited clips of my set from the Blue Lounge REVUE in April! It’s the first fresh MP3s I’ve had to put out in months—thank you again, Kate! All types of rockin’!

So starting today, for the next few days I’ll be putting up one new MP3 a day, on my main blogs on Tumblr and the NAKED CITY website… check ‘em out, and let me know all about it!

Quote of the Week

“Showers are a great place for a good cry… this choked me up today in the shower…”

—Random Bar Chick

And here I thought that was MY little secret… well, I bet she never sits down in the shower and plays “Captain of the Sinking Submarine” (which is also a good way to relieve stress)…